“Break a million hearts, but have
yours broken too” is a quote that I made up a very long time ago. This is
something that I have always felt is true in this life of chaos. I am Thee
QueenB- founder of the Stars of Unique.
I’m
not sure that anyone thinks that they had a great childhood, or that they have
not gone through great struggles in life, but I honestly believe that all I
have gone through is exactly why I am who I am today. I have always been a very
self-constructive person, and I believe have always made the right decisions
with little to no regrets in my lifetime. At 25 years old I feel like I’ve been
through things people never do in their whole lives- again as I’m sure
everybody does to a certain degree. I always knew I would be “different”, that
I am “special”, and that I will influence many in this life.
I
am an enigma. In Jr. High school I discovered metal music, and became very
dark, gothic, and “freaky”. In Utah County- an extremely religious area- you
can imagine the stares, names, remarks, and condescending message that many of
my peers directed my way. I always stayed strong, stayed unique, and really was
such a strong young woman. I would say that music and writing are my main
passions, and I’ve always excelled in both areas. In band I played the
clarinet, saxophone, and currently play the bass guitar. In my creative writing
class- sophomore year of high school- I wrote my first short story. Our teacher
sent our stories to a local author to grade, and told everyone in the class not
to expect anything higher than a C grade- that the author looks at our stories
and grades them how someone would had they been interested in publishing. The
day we got our stories back- she called me to the front of the class and
announced that I was the only one – not only in our class, but ALL of her
creative writing classes that received an A-. This is what started my artistic
confidence.
I got my first job as a dry cleaner
at the age of 15. This is also the age I moved out of my parents’ house due to
the drug and physical abuse occurring nearly my whole childhood. Also do to the
‘independent teenager’, strong young woman I became. So I got a job during the
summer to buy clothes, and moved in with my boyfriend at the time. Shortly
after I graduated at the age of 16- I moved back in with my mother and step-father
and started working at a local Wendy’s. After a year and a half- I met the love
of my life- Willie, and started working at Wal-Mart – the cutest customer
service girl with dreads and tattoos ever (Haha!). Two years later- after
realizing that in Utah County everyone stays the same, everyone was on drugs,
and I was going absolutely nowhere in my life…I moved to Salt Lake. The best
thing I could have ever done.
I am going to press pause for a
second and let my A.D.D. mind drift for a minute. Willie is probably one of the
most influential people in my life so far (other than my sister, Astraea), in
both a wonderful and quite horrible way. We dated on and off for 3 ½ years, and
I was certain that he and I would be together forever. When he passed away Jan.
19, 2009 due to his immense drug addiction- it made me realize how extremely
temporary this life really is, and how much we all take for granted. I started
the Stars of Unique about two years later to fill a hole in my heart that no
one could. After dating for years, I just never felt complete until I had my
time consumed by this amazing project. At a point where I had nearly given up
all hope- I found a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not going to act like
all is peaches, because ever since that very day – I am not the happy-go-lucky
girl I once was. It is very hard to admit, but I am a very bitter person toward
life in general. It has never given me a break, and this was kind of my
snapping point. As my sister Astraea told me- it’s not that I feel like the
world owes me- but exact opposite. I feel like the world has nothing to offer.
This is very destructive, but I work every day to be the best ME in this life,
and conquer the demons of my past.
Currently I work full time for a
collection agency. I have worked here for 5 years now, and counting! I live in
a small studio apartment with my two cats- who through the years have become my
kids. I just joined a band as a bassist- so excited to give back to the art
that has had a HUGE impact on my being. I am vegan- as of about a month ago,
and was vegetarian since the age of 13 prior to that. I consider this one of my
greatest accomplishments in life, and take great pride in the self-discipline
and self-control this requires.
I am have been experimenting with
women relationship-wise after coming up empty handed on men after my loss so
many years ago. At this point, I am not sure what it is I want- man, woman,
anyone? Prior to my last relationship was abstinent for a long time- with few
exceptions. I am back to the same place- Lady Gaga has a line “Can’t sleep with
a man who dims my shine”, and really have that kind of attitude about it. I’m
very big on self-respect, and usually end up regretting it anyway.
Last but not least- my sister,
Astraea. She raised me- quite literally. If it weren’t for her, I would have
had little to no guidance in my life. As a wandering soul as it is- one must
realize how important it is to have at least one solid foundation. Yeah- as
kids growing up in an abusive, unhealthy environment- we fought a lot…but as we
got older we both transformed into similar- yet polar opposite, amazing women.
She is who I look up to, who I want to make the proudest, and who I owe the
success of the Stars of Unique to. I cannot even imagine the team without her,
and don’t even want to imagine the person I would have become without her.
I am excited to see what is in store for my
future one day at a time. The Stars of Unique are not going anywhere, anytime
soon. The passion behind it, the minds, confidence, and power is limitless. It
is my focus, my love, my life. I see ME in every single one of the girls in one
way or another, and love living vicariously through their unique story. <3
