Friday, September 7, 2012


“Break a million hearts, but have yours broken too” is a quote that I made up a very long time ago. This is something that I have always felt is true in this life of chaos. I am Thee QueenB- founder of the Stars of Unique.
               I’m not sure that anyone thinks that they had a great childhood, or that they have not gone through great struggles in life, but I honestly believe that all I have gone through is exactly why I am who I am today. I have always been a very self-constructive person, and I believe have always made the right decisions with little to no regrets in my lifetime. At 25 years old I feel like I’ve been through things people never do in their whole lives- again as I’m sure everybody does to a certain degree. I always knew I would be “different”, that I am “special”, and that I will influence many in this life.
               I am an enigma. In Jr. High school I discovered metal music, and became very dark, gothic, and “freaky”. In Utah County- an extremely religious area- you can imagine the stares, names, remarks, and condescending message that many of my peers directed my way. I always stayed strong, stayed unique, and really was such a strong young woman. I would say that music and writing are my main passions, and I’ve always excelled in both areas. In band I played the clarinet, saxophone, and currently play the bass guitar. In my creative writing class- sophomore year of high school- I wrote my first short story. Our teacher sent our stories to a local author to grade, and told everyone in the class not to expect anything higher than a C grade- that the author looks at our stories and grades them how someone would had they been interested in publishing. The day we got our stories back- she called me to the front of the class and announced that I was the only one – not only in our class, but ALL of her creative writing classes that received an A-. This is what started my artistic confidence.
I got my first job as a dry cleaner at the age of 15. This is also the age I moved out of my parents’ house due to the drug and physical abuse occurring nearly my whole childhood. Also do to the ‘independent teenager’, strong young woman I became. So I got a job during the summer to buy clothes, and moved in with my boyfriend at the time. Shortly after I graduated at the age of 16- I moved back in with my mother and step-father and started working at a local Wendy’s. After a year and a half- I met the love of my life- Willie, and started working at Wal-Mart – the cutest customer service girl with dreads and tattoos ever (Haha!). Two years later- after realizing that in Utah County everyone stays the same, everyone was on drugs, and I was going absolutely nowhere in my life…I moved to Salt Lake. The best thing I could have ever done.
I am going to press pause for a second and let my A.D.D. mind drift for a minute. Willie is probably one of the most influential people in my life so far (other than my sister, Astraea), in both a wonderful and quite horrible way. We dated on and off for 3 ½ years, and I was certain that he and I would be together forever. When he passed away Jan. 19, 2009 due to his immense drug addiction- it made me realize how extremely temporary this life really is, and how much we all take for granted. I started the Stars of Unique about two years later to fill a hole in my heart that no one could. After dating for years, I just never felt complete until I had my time consumed by this amazing project. At a point where I had nearly given up all hope- I found a light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not going to act like all is peaches, because ever since that very day – I am not the happy-go-lucky girl I once was. It is very hard to admit, but I am a very bitter person toward life in general. It has never given me a break, and this was kind of my snapping point. As my sister Astraea told me- it’s not that I feel like the world owes me- but exact opposite. I feel like the world has nothing to offer. This is very destructive, but I work every day to be the best ME in this life, and conquer the demons of my past.
Currently I work full time for a collection agency. I have worked here for 5 years now, and counting! I live in a small studio apartment with my two cats- who through the years have become my kids. I just joined a band as a bassist- so excited to give back to the art that has had a HUGE impact on my being. I am vegan- as of about a month ago, and was vegetarian since the age of 13 prior to that. I consider this one of my greatest accomplishments in life, and take great pride in the self-discipline and self-control this requires.
I am have been experimenting with women relationship-wise after coming up empty handed on men after my loss so many years ago. At this point, I am not sure what it is I want- man, woman, anyone? Prior to my last relationship was abstinent for a long time- with few exceptions. I am back to the same place- Lady Gaga has a line “Can’t sleep with a man who dims my shine”, and really have that kind of attitude about it. I’m very big on self-respect, and usually end up regretting it anyway.
Last but not least- my sister, Astraea. She raised me- quite literally. If it weren’t for her, I would have had little to no guidance in my life. As a wandering soul as it is- one must realize how important it is to have at least one solid foundation. Yeah- as kids growing up in an abusive, unhealthy environment- we fought a lot…but as we got older we both transformed into similar- yet polar opposite, amazing women. She is who I look up to, who I want to make the proudest, and who I owe the success of the Stars of Unique to. I cannot even imagine the team without her, and don’t even want to imagine the person I would have become without her.
 I am excited to see what is in store for my future one day at a time. The Stars of Unique are not going anywhere, anytime soon. The passion behind it, the minds, confidence, and power is limitless. It is my focus, my love, my life. I see ME in every single one of the girls in one way or another, and love living vicariously through their unique story. <3